Step 2: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity

In the course of this series, I will be discussing MY experience with the 12 steps of recovery, which are the essence of recovery programs such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), Al-Anon, Nar-anon, etc. Each person who embarks on this journey works the steps differently, so my experience as an individual may be nothing like yours. In fact, some of you may wonder how I have even stayed abstinent these 17 years!

Step 2 gives hope to the person with a substance use disorder (SUD) who has admitted to powerlessness over one’s addiction. You feel hopeless, defeated, and out-of-control. You have decided that using drugs or alcohol must cease in order to find a more meaningful life. This is where the concept of hope comes into play. The decision to quit leaves one without hope. The addiction that has soothed our pain, assuaged our grief, obliterated our shame and guilt, and medicated our sorrows is now gone. What can save us now?

How to find hope after utter defeat? In the 12-step programs and other self-help programs, hope is evidenced in the recovery of other individuals. These are people who had given up on themselves, realized that their addiction was doing great harm, and decided it was time to quit. This decision is not made without a great deal of pain. That pain impels one to search for the answer outside of one’s own self. We tried repeatedly to control our use, and failed.

Being surrounded by others who are successful in recovery is the surest way to hope. It is easy to think that you are different and are unable to recover, but that’s a lie that you are telling yourself. It is a lie that other people in recovery have told themselves, too. I offer you the thought that you can recover! Eventually, we come to believe, “If they can do it, so can I.”

We are often told that the only path to salvation is God. Many who are seeking recovery feel that a higher power, or God, is uncaring, unresponsive, and abandoning. However, there is hope regardless of one’s spiritual belief. There is hope in the collective recovery of the group. In my own recovery, I am aware that love and charity are extended to me by other people in recovery. If I let others love and care for me, if I latch onto them as a drowning person grasps a buoy, I will recover. I have made many “mistakes” in recovery. I did not go to enough meetings, I did not have a sponsor for periods of time. I took too long to work the steps. Nonetheless, I knew if I followed their path, albeit imperfectly, there was hope. Now on to the subject of sanity.

In my addiction, I felt utterly insane. I drank and/or used until I had lost family, friends, jobs, spouses, property, self-respect, self-worth, and hope. I continued to use despite the negative consequences because of the perceived comfort and familiarity of my drug of choice. I gave away much that I held dear in order to continue using. This, my friends, is insanity. The things many do to support their addiction are also insane: lying, cheating, stealing, violating one’s values, going to any lengths to continue the comfort of the drug.

We gain hope by seeing that others have recovered from the obsession of using drugs and alcohol, and we draw from their experience, strength, and hope to recover ourselves. Others recover, so can we. By working the 12 steps to the best of our ability, we regain the values that we were taught to cherish, and become examples for those who follow us on this journey. By believing and hoping in the power of the group, we can recover. By clinging to the lifeboat, which means relying on our imperfect fellows, we can recover. By realizing our powerlessness over our addiction, we are forced to look for the answer, find it in the group, and find a new comfort, because we can recover.

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