CONTINUUM OF CARE

"There is no person walking the face of the earth who demonstrates more courage, dignity, honesty and integrity on a daily basis than an addict in recovery."

In 12-step programs there is a well-known step zero: “This crap has got to stop.” It is also referred to as, “the gift of desperation.” Whatever you call it, the desire to stop using drugs or drinking is a gift that seems to come from somewhere outside of ourselves. As a person in recovery I know how terrifying getting help can be. I felt like I was sitting on top of a 100-foot-fence, swaying back and forth, knowing on one side was the life I had been living filled with drinking, drugs, hurting the people I loved the most, and a “life” of isolation and missed opportunities. On the other side of that fence was a life full of unknowns: I didn’t know if I would ever have fun again, if I would have friends, if I would be okay. I was terrified of both options. Either way I was going to fall off that 100-foot-fence, and either way it was going to hurt. I couldn’t stay on top of that fence forever; I had to make a decision, trying sobriety (life) or falling back into addiction (death).

Drugs and alcohol filled a hole I had in my heart, but it was like pouring water into the hole of a sinking ship: it covered up the pain, but it didn’t take away my problem. Fortunately, when I got clean there were people to help me through that painful process, people who wanted me to come around, unlike the folks who didn’t want me around after years of ripping them off, betraying their trust, or being a jerk to them. This is just a small part of my story, and if any of it sounds familiar, then it would help to look at the resources we’ve put together.

On a final note: please know that if you decide to fall onto the sober side of the fence there is a group of people waiting to catch you, to walk with you, to help you; and that this group of people needs you desperately. We need to hear your story to remind us of our own.

Until we see you, know you are loved.

- Nic C.