Mountain Movers: Mary Allen
Elevating those in our community who moved mountains in their lives so they can help others move mountains in theirs.
Try as you might, there are some memories in your mind that can’t be erased. Some of these memories are so devastating that the lingering pain can alter your entire life. When Mary Allen, 56, was four-years-old, her mother was shot in the stomach and died in front of her. While her siblings don’t remember the traumatic experience, Mary’s memory of the incident remains clear.
“From the time I was a child, to adulthood, there was so much in my life that went on, that I really think that the mental part of it is when I got into doing drugs. I'd never felt better. I started at a very young age from hate and bitterness.”
After her mother’s death, Mary and her sister lived with their father and step-mother for a time, but instead of the love and support they needed, they were met with physical abuse. Her kindergarten teacher noticed signs of trauma and contacted authorities. The children entered the foster care system and were soon adopted by kind, loving, and caring parents that gave them a wonderful life in a Christian home. Mary describes her parents, grandparents, and most of the family as “very pleasant people with an overload of kindness.”
“Our lives were perfect. It was a wonderful life,” Mary recalls. “My parents never argued around us kids, so I grew up believing all marriages were like theirs.” She married at 18, thinking her marriage would be just the same. “I was wrong!” A long cycle of abusive marriages began.
Mary’s first husband’s battle with alcoholism quickly devolved into violent behavior. When she and her family members’ lives were threatened, she filed for divorce. She moved to a nearby town with her son and began a new life, hoping to find a stable relationship.
She met another man and they had a daughter together. At 21, he introduced her to drugs, which was the start of 24 years of active addiction. This relationship quickly went downhill and turned abusive as well. Mary feared for her children’s well-being. Again, she fled town in search of the love she saw between her adopted parents. And again, she found herself in a new relationship. “This is it,” she was sure. But, it wasn’t.
At first, everything was good, except for the fact that she and her husband were using substances together. “I was a functioning addict. My kids were in sports, they had clean clothes on their back, food on the table, a clean house to come home to. I gardened. I mowed my yard. And I did cocaine,” Mary joked. She and her husband helped each other maintain their secret behind a polished exterior.
She thought she had found what she was always looking for–until they went to the wrong party and crack cocaine entered their lives. “Crack cocaine is the ruination of this world,” she said. The drug accelerated her downfall. Suddenly it wasn’t so easy to balance her substance use with the demands of her life. It altered their lives so dramatically that even their supplier cautioned Mary to change her ways before it killed her.
One night she and her husband were using crack in a drug house when police busted another house just up the street. Stricken with fear, she realized that if she didn’t quit, she would eventually end up arrested, or worse, dead. She didn’t want to let her kids or family down and decided to enter rehab. Without her husband’s support, friends drove her to treatment and she checked herself in. Afterwards, her husband expected their drug habit to continue and became violently angry when she was opposed. She left with her teenage children, going through a third divorce.
After the many years of pain and broken trust, she met a man that has been a positive influence on her sobriety to this day. “I finally got a good man in my life, and he's my rock. We have been together 12 years. Without him, I don't think I could have made it this far in my recovery.” She found the love she was always looking for and now makes the memories she dreamt of her entire life.
In 2021, Mary became employed at American Job Center as a Peer Recovery Coach Lead for Project Rebound. The program provided recovery peer coach training, placing participants in worksites as resources for community members with substance use disorder, supporting during crisis and pointing toward recovery. Most have been in recovery themselves or have been personally affected by addiction. “Project Rebound has been an inspiration. I always felt when I came out of recovery, that this was the kind of work I wanted to do.”
Mary interacted with peer coaches to oversee day-to-day activities and monthly monitoring with their supervisors. “It was quite rewarding to work with the coaches and see where they're going in life. And they're doing really well. It has helped me become more understanding of the challenges they have been through. Seeing how they are doing now is outstandingly rewarding.”
Mary reflected that Project Rebound has helped many young men and women to have a second chance in life and to gain knowledge and experience they can use on their resumes to obtain future employment. Unfortunately, funding for Project Rebound ended on June 30, 2022. “I pray they all stay strong, move on in their lives, follow their dreams, and become the people they want to be. There are a few of the coaches that have really shown me that I, too, am an important part of the recovery network.”
With the program’s ending, Mary gained new employment, and her outlook remains optimistic. “Life is so much better now and I have so much to be grateful for,” Mary reflects. “I wake up every morning, look in the mirror and say, ‘Today is another day.’ I have done this every day since I have been in recovery.”